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Monday, November 29, 2021

The life & ramblings of a stay at home dad.

LifestyleWhy are we in such a hurry?

Why are we in such a hurry?

🕓 Estimated read time: 4 minutes

Why are we in such a hurry? Everyone everywhere seems to be in a hurry all of the time. Let’s just take a little time to step back and breathe.

Stress and anxiety

If you asked me a few years ago if I ever got stressed out, the answer would probably be “not really”. I used to get stressed out over big things at work etc but never been much of a stress head as such. More likely to get frustrated more than anything. The older I get though, the more I can see how stress and anxiety affect pretty much everyone. The COVID-19 pandemic played a big part in this throughout 2020/2021. Generally speaking, I could likely, name 1 thing that stresses me out each day.

“But you’re a stay at home parent, you must just sit around doing nothing all day”

Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. You’d be surprised how day to day life takes its toll on people. I spent 16 years in the IT industry, from leaving school, working in some exotic places throughout the world. I had experienced different cultures and in each and every country I visited, I experienced the same thing. Everyone is in a hurry. Vendors, market traders, business owners, commuters are all shouting and rushing around everywhere. It stresses you out just being in some of these cultures. Back home, we’re exactly the same.

Time to speak

Have you ever asked someone if they’re ok when passing by? It’s JUST a phrase we use now. “Are you ok?”. And nine times out of ten you will get a reply with “I’m fine thanks, are you”. Do you ever think about the question though?

Very few people will and as a result, we just reply with a quick answer, “I’m fine”. We don’t seem to take any time to comprehend a question or take the time to listen. We just blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.

Doctors appointments are a really good example of this. If you can eventually get into a doctors appointment you are given approx ten minutes to explain your problems. Speaking from experience, they don’t listen, they hear what they need to hear and quickly prescribe medicine… NEXT!

Parents evenings are an even better example, especially in recent years in my household. Parents evenings used to be a big thing. Tables are set up around a big school hall in a circuit type fashion and you make your way from one teacher to another. Generally, it was a good fifteen to twenty minutes conversation per subject per teacher, which was more than enough time. Sadly that’s well and truly gone. Now we get a ridiculous five-minute video call per subject per teacher. How are we expected to discuss the future of our children in 5 minutes?

Technology and chaos

I’m all for technology, I’m a big advocate of using technology to our advantage, however, it has created chaos. Or should I rephrase that to be, We have created chaos with technology?

Just for one moment, stop and breathe. Could you actually function without your phone, tablet, smartwatch or laptop? It’s unlikely. You wouldn’t be reading this post without it. I wouldn’t have written this post without it. Don’t get me wrong, I fully embrace technology and we all should, but what has technology done to us? It made us lazy.

I honestly believe that technology is a mitigating factor as to why people are in such a hurry. Technology has allowed our generation and will allow future generations to do things, easier and faster. It has created some breakthroughs in science and health and that can only be a good thing, right?

Unneccasary stress

But, technological advancements have made our generation lazy, it has allowed us to sit there and do nothing and the only muscle we need to move is our thumb. We can get what we want when we want it, in an instant. There is no patience needed.

So the issue arises when you step out of the matrix and into the real world, you don’t have time or the patience. It creates barriers between relationships, our family and friends.

Couple In Bed On Mobile Phones

It creates frustration and unnecessary stress when doing offline tasks. You’re 5th in the queue just to buy milk, the cashier isn’t going quick enough to your liking or we ask to jump in front of the queue in the supermarket because we only have a few items…

Technology allowed us to build bigger and better. It’s given us some scientific marvels. We’ve travelled to space to see if it’s possible to reside on mars, for us to destroy another planet. We’ve built more efficient and faster cars, planes and trains so we can get to work even faster, it allowed us to build wider, technologically advanced motorways to accommodate more cars, to get more people to work, faster. So that we work longer hours and work faster so companies can invest in more technology to create even more jobs, so we can build more cars, bigger roads, sell more mobile phones, build better internet infrastructures to create a ‘better world’ because we need more and we need it now.

STOP! Breathe

The good old days

Hopefully, I created a good climactic build up there and you got a little bit tense thinking about it. But the point I’m making is technology IS doing this world good. There’s no question about it. But it also creates chaos in the process.

Our climate is in a pretty bad way, that’s our fault. Globally 20% of children suffer from mental health and anxiety, that’s our fault. We no longer have time and in some cases the inclination to listen to others or care for others because we’re all in too much of a hurry. The technology we have created is causing a lot of problems.

Artificial Intelligence is among us today, in pretty much all aspects of life. Will we soon be in a position to think for ourselves again and make our lives a little less of a hurry? Will it make life better for us and allow society to be more human at the same time.

Soon enough I think we will have to go back to the good old days, where people stopped and talked to you and actually listened. When kids could go and ‘play out’ by knocking on their friend’s door and playing kerby, British bulldog and Tag, instead of walking around like zombies with their phones in their hands.

Hopefully, we’ll eventually learn some patience and just learn to take a breather instead of rushing through life. The average life expectancy in the UK is around 82 years of age… 82 years is plenty of time…

Ask yourself this…Why are we in such a hurry?

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8 COMMENTS

  1. Totally relate to the “You stay home all day, do you do nothing”.. Sometimes people really have no idea the amount ot things can happen in a day for a stay at home parent!

  2. I love this post. We have lost a lot of the personal touch as everything is now online. I’m always setting myself goals instead of just living in the here and now. We need to stop looking for the next thing and enjoy the little moments of every day life. Thanks for sharing.

  3. Aye, a lot in this Damion and I think the pandemic, where people have been forced to slow down, has got people reflecting on the pace of life. Interesting you mention tech. Convenience and speed are one thing, but it is messing up our life and blurring the line between work / life / family. So much more to be said about this subject, very thought provoking.

  4. I agree with you, we’re all in such a rush. I think the ‘hustle’ and ‘grid’ culture is also to blame for it. Apparently, we’re all supposed to be super busy smashing goals and being productive – but at what cost? Sure, do what you love, but also foster relationships.

  5. This reminds me of what André De Shields said, “Slowly is the fastest way to get to where you want to be; the top of one mountain is the bottom of the next, so keep climbing.” I think we all get caught up in the idea that we have to have certain things or achieve milestones at set times — the reality is very different. We get hyper-focused on life stuff without truly living it and that is really no way to be. You’ve really got me thinking about how we/I move through life.

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