Me Tired and regretful

3 Minutes read

Have you ever spent the night somewhere else and later, have a deep sense of regret. I did and I’d never do it again!

I can’t get no sleep

Of late I’ve found it difficult to get a decent nights sleep. Or to just get any sleep in fact.

Last night was no different, I tossed and turned, my mind working over on all sorts of things. Then the inevitable happened. Alfie woke up and said the famous words… “Maaam… Can I come in”. Let me just be realistic for a moment here.

Who, at 1am can be bothered to be messing about trying to get their kid to go back to their own bed when you’re knackered yourself!?

There’s many help books on how to get your child to sleep and we’ve tried them all I think. This little fella just refuses to sleep longer than 5 hours in his own bed!

I’ve had enough

So, I’m wide awake and just can’t sleep. Mainly because Alfie fidgets, grinds his teeth and talks in his sleep more than he does when he’s awake. Add to the mix the trombone effect that comes from Mrs F’s nostrils when she’s asleep, it’s set to be a fantastic night!

It’s 2am, by this point I’d had enough I want more than this. I need to get out and find comfort elsewhere. In a strop, I fling the bed covers off me, or at least the few covers I had, get dressed and leave. I’ve had enough, can’t cope with it anymore. I was 100% sure this is what I wanted. And yes, before you judge me I did think of my wife and kids, but I have to do what’s right for me.

Comfort elsewhere

I look out of the window and see it’s been snowing, I’m in for a cold night. I set out on my journey to somewhere that I find comforting, relaxing and somewhere I’m happy to be. All be it I don’t go there that often.

I arrive at the place I want to spend the night. Do I feel guilt, a little bit. But I have to do what I feel is right for me.

There she is… just laid there in the room, in all her glory. I start to snuggle into her knowing I’ll get a some comfort, the room is silent with just the dull sound of the clock in the background. Tick tock, tick tock. I put my head between her ‘pillows’ but I’m not feeling the comfort I want. I strip her of everything she’s wearing and lay on top of her, but nothing. I’m getting no connection, no emotion or feeling of comfort. I even laid beside her, on top of her belongings on the floor but still feel no comfort. She’s just not doing it for me anymore. What have I done? I left my wife through the night for what?

Regret

I’m starting to regret my decision. It’s now 6am and I’ve had next to no sleep. I might as well just get up and leave. I left my wife to spend the night somewhere I thought I’d feel comfort and didn’t. So, I took the dog for a walk in the snow thinking about how much of a mistake I’d made. Deeply regretting my decision. I cant go back from it now. Last night happened.

Snow covered trees on the dog walk

On Reflection

I can honestly say going downstairs to sleep on the sofa was a bad decision. I genuinely thought, my sofa was comfortable. It’s not! Far from it. My dog might find it comfortable, but I certainly don’t. I’m buying a new sofa!

Missy Laying on the sofa with me

16 thoughts on “I spent the night elsewhere and regret it

  1. Haha, thought this was going somewhere else! I don’t have children so do not experience that kind of interrupted sleep but I do have a brain that will not switch off and have had terrible insomnia for quite some time (even tried the sofa — but definitely not as comfortable as it seems)! Here’s to improved sleep for everyone in 2021!

  2. I’ll be honest, I definitely thought from the title this might head in a different direction… I’m glad it was the sofa in your own home

  3. I have slept on the couch before myself. What a huge mistake! Any time I get that notion I quickly stop myself lol. The headache and stiff neck is so not worth it. I hope you get more sleep soon!

  4. Haha this made me chuckle! Sometimes your sofa sounds so inviting… and then you get down to it and darn those things are uncomfortable! Hopefully you get a restful nights sleep soon!

  5. Enjoyed this one Damion, I mean I gathered quite early on there was a bit of a twist to it but wasn’t sure where you were going with it! During the first few weeks of our youngest settling into a sleep pattern the sofa was my new best friend!

  6. This did make me chuckle I too had a toddler in my bed from 2am this morning. The first time he has actually come and slept in our bed so I felt I couldn’t refuse as he had a nightmare. Cue sleepless night, husband huffing because he is being pushed out of the bed and child breathing bad morning breath in my face while flailing his limbs around and talking in his sleep. Brilliant!! Wish I had escaped to the comfort of the sofa!!

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