There are a lot of things teenagers do that make no sense at all these days. Don’t get me wrong I think teens are genuinely brilliant. They’re Smart, focused and full of really good ideas. But lets honest though, they are a right pain in the backside.
Parenting a teenager
Parenting a child isn’t easy. We just go with the flow and hope your kids are happy and content. Making our own manual up as we go, just in case we have another one. That is until the child hits 13 years old. Where’s page 13!? there’s no page 13! You ring your own parents… “Have you got page 13!?”. They laugh at you and hang up.
There’s always that little bit of hope that your teenager doesn’t actually turn out like a stereotypical teen and they’re quite well mannered, have a good outlook on life and always take pride in everything they do. So you start winging it and make notes just in case.
The Cambridge Dictionary defines a teenager as:
Teenager:DEFINITION OF TEENAGER FROM THE CAMBRIDGE ADVANCED LEARNER’S DICTIONARY & THESAURUS © CAMBRIDGE UNIVERSITY PRESS
A young person person aged between 13 and 19 years old
That’s it!? They’re not wrong mind. A teenager is 13 to 19 years old. But I’d like to add a true definition of Teenager. So, sit back and lets have a giggle.
Purely based on the look they give you first thing on a morning. You have about 20 seconds to determine if saying “good morning” is actually worth it or not.
Don’t forget to set your alarm
If their alarm is set for 6:55am and you try to wake them up at 6:53am be prepared for an all our strop because you woke them up early.
The big tidy up
Their bedroom will only ever become immaculate, verging on show home standards, if their partner is coming round or there is a group Zoom meeting happening. Other than that your teen is comparable to Stig of the Dump.
You’re not even funny
Nothing you can do could possible make your teen crack a smile. Even if the situation is genuinely funny. The muscular effort it would take to smile is far too much to handle.
Teens become, gourmet chefs, but only when there is no adult in the house. A gourmet meal consists of making an omelette, trying to flip it and realising they’re now making scrambled eggs.
When you tell your teen what’s for dinner and they tell you they’re not hungry. Within minutes of cleaning up after dinner they come in and say “can I make a snack, I wasn’t hungry at the time”
Image is everything
Walking around the house in your Pyjamas all day is acceptable. Going out looking like you’ve been attacked by a washing basket is acceptable. As parents we cannot criticise what they are wearing because whatever we wear is just embarrassing.
Slip of the tongue
The moment when your teen forgets they are with their parents and swear in front of you. Its hilarious, no apology is needed.
They’re too busy having a social life via snapchat to possibly be involved in anything to do with their family. THEY HAVE A LIFE ASWELL YOU KNOW!
Teenagers these days put us to shame sometimes with their intelligence. But damn they are proper thick at times. The most common sense things seem to be the most complicated.
We understand nothing. We will never understand. Obviously, as parents we just appeared at the age we are now and didn’t age from birth.
Answer my text
Is it that difficult to reply to a text message? We could text our teens and wait 3 days for a reply. On the flip side, if we don’t answer their text we get full on spammed by them.
Holding a grudge
Teens don’t hold grudges. They’re quite clever. They hold onto memories to allow them to be better prepared for their next battle. Until, of course, when they want something from you.
They still need Mummy and Daddy
They act all big and clever. But when it comes to Hospital visits etc, they still sit there and look at us so we can talk to the doctors on their behalf.
Water from the bathroom tap doesn’t taste any different than the water from the kitchen tap. “Yes it does”
Social media embarrassment
It would be ridiculous to presume its ok for any parent of a teen to have a life and have any form of social media account. Its not made for parents so we should get off it and stay off it.
Get a different job
Under no circumstances should any parent of a teenager have a job that involves you been seen or heard by anyone… Work in a cave so no one even knows who you are.
Teenagers wear so much body spray. Even if they ended up going through the apocalypse they’d still come out the other side smelling the same.
They can handle fear
They can handle all types of fear but the worst types of fear they cant handle are:
10 missed calls from their parents
“Username & Password are incorrect”
Teenagers have the best time keeping mechanisms known to man. Said no one! They say they are leaving at 1pm. They leave the house at 2:30. “yeah, I meant 2:30”
Fountain of knowledge
They know everything. Why do we even use Google? We have teenagers who know it all.
The most expensive part of having a teenager is the amount of alcohol we have to consume.
Don’t get me wrong, teenagers can be completely the opposite of the above sometimes. I’m just waiting for it to happen. I feel it is fair to say raising a teenager is comparable to being pecked to death by a chicken.
So to sum up, if anyone actually has Page 13 to the ‘Parenting a Teenager’ manual please make it public so we can all at least know what to expect.
If you are reading this and you have a child coming up to teenage years… Good Luck, our thoughts are with you, stay strong, you can do it!
Can you think of any other things teenagers do that make no sense? Feel free to comment below with your anecdotes.